Mauricio Becerra never really cared about school very much. So when his teacher handed him a standardized test and told him that it wouldn't count toward his grade, he quickly filled the bubbles and took a nap.

The Wilson High school student didn't know that he actually had been given a placement test until he walked into a class for poor-performing students.

"'Yeah, I messed up something, because this is the dumb class,' he recalled telling himself.

But Becerra and his fellow students quickly found out that they were by no means dumb - thanks to their inspiring English teacher Erin Gruwell, who allowed them to explore their personal problems through creative writing. Gruwell is now a lecturer at Cal State Long Beach.

The students, who credit Gruwell for turning their lives around, in 1999 published "The Freedom Writers Diary,' a collection of their high school writings.

Four of Gruwell's "freedom writers' spoke to community members Monday at the Long Beach Main Library about finding their voices and overcoming problems like learning disabilities, gang violence and absent parents.

"Freedom writer' Sonia Pineda, a CSULB student who wants to go to law school, recalled a devastating moment early in her education career.

In elementary school, Pineda, who had recently immigrated and knew little English, was tasked along with her classmates to pick a word out of a newspaper that she didn't know and explain its meaning to the class.

Pineda picked "swimming' and was crushed when she saw her peers, and even her teacher, laugh at her.

That only reinforced the negative image she had of herself because she was in a class for at-risk students.

"We were all rejects, and that's a tough burden to put on a kid,' she said.

But Gruwell convinced her otherwise, by regularly putting herself on the line for her students. And her pupils were willing to open their hearts while writing diaries, poems and other assignments - delving into personal problems.

Becerra, now an aspiring filmmaker at CSULB, recalled that he first opened up after writing a poem about a cousin who had recently been gunned down in a drive-by shooting.

Gruwell helped Jessica Martinez, now a CSULB student, thrive in the classroom despite alcoholism and violence in her household.

"Ms. G was always there for me,' she said.

Teachers who show respect and compassion can help turn around academically troubled kids who feel the system doesn't care, Becerra says.

"When you don't believe in them ... (Kids) know it,' he said.