African-American women who attend the University of La Verne often feel like they lead double lives to fit in.

Some soften their voices and refrain from slang when they are around white students, said members of the Sisters' Circle a support group for the university's female African-American students.

About 15 members talked Thursday about their families and the stresses they face as African-American women. They also received advice from Kumea Shorter-Gooden, a Pasadena-based clinical psychologist and co-author of "Shifting: the Double Lives of Black Women in America.'

"You need to look at how, when and where you're shifting, and ask yourself if it is helping or eroding you on the inside,' Shorter-Gooden said. "Ask if you're compromising who you are and it's hurting you, or if you're becoming bicultural and it's helping you.'

Self-esteem is a major issue with African-American women, they said. The media, they said, portrays them as unattractive, unintelligent and promiscuous. Those who break through often have thinner noses, lighter skin and hair that is not nappy.

Still, some of the racial tension has come from within the black community and even within their own families.

One woman said that because she has nice hair and is pretty, people assume that she is mixed.

Another said her light-skinned grandmother used to pinch her nose and say she hoped she would never get the stereotypical large, black nose.

Keisha Bentley, a psychology professor and head of the cross- cultural program division of the university's Institute for Multicultural Research and Campus Diversity, co-founded the Sisters' Club in November 2001.

The University of La Verne already had the Brothers Forum for 11 years to provide an outlet for African-American men, and the ladies needed a forum as well, Bentley said.

She started research immediately on acculturated stress. Her findings were backed up by Shorter-Gooden, who said the stress of being black and a woman is the reason African- American women have more depressive illnesses like hypertension and heart disease than black man and women in other cultures.

"It's the myth of unshakability that they want to keep,' Shorter-Gooden said. "African-American women are the least likely to seek care for their mental health. ... They usually take care of others before themselves.'