In dribs and drabs for the last decade, retired counselor Tranquil Calley has put money away in memory of her son Kalyn.

But it wasn't until she heard about a UC Riverside senior who is gay and could no longer afford to pay for school that she knew what she'd do with her modest savings.

In December, Calley established a fund in her son's name to help homosexual students in need at UC Riverside.

"This is exactly what he would want," she said of her son, who died of AIDS complications in 1994. "It would be a tragedy for these students to have to drop out."

Kalyn Smith-Tranquil'son, whose name was Colin Smith before he changed it to honor his mother, was the victim of physical gay-bashing twice while attending the university. Instead of withdrawing, he became an activist and fought for gay rights on campus.

Almost 20 years after he attended UC Riverside, the campus is more tolerant, and his mother's gesture serves as an extension of what Smith-Tranquil'son fought for.

The first beneficiary of the Kalyn Smith-Tranquil'son Memorial Fund scholarship is Janean Hinrichs, who found herself short on money last quarter and was on the verge of quitting school. She said she couldn't go to her parents because they had stopped financially supporting her three years ago when she told them she is a lesbian. It was a decision based on their religious beliefs.

"I was thinking, 'Oh no, the world's going to end and I'm going to have to drop out of school,' " said the 20-year-old senior.

Calley, a Moreno Valley resident, had told the school's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Resource Center that she wanted to help gay students, so when Hinrichs asked center director Nancy Tubbs for help, Calley was contacted and the scholarship was born.

"It was such a blessing, especially since I didn't even know this scholarship existed," Hinrichs said. "Kids want to stay in school, but coming out to their parents is tough. To have that issue, and then have to worry about financing on top of it all, it's such a struggle."

Hinrichs' predicament struck a chord with Calley, who remembered how angry and disappointed she felt when Kalyn told her he was gay. She cried for three weeks. She was angry and blamed gays for "corrupting" him.

"Emotionally, it's how I felt," Calley said. "Intellectually, I knew I was wrong."

Reading the book "Loving Someone Gay" helped her understand that her son was the same person she knew.

"I can only hope that in time, like me, other parents will grow up," she said.

At UC Riverside, Smith-Tranquil'son was openly gay, but not particularly political until he was beaten by at least three members of the university's baseball team in 1981. The students were ordered to attend sensitivity classes.

Smith-Tranquil'son and about 40 students began pressuring the administration to foster more campus tolerance.

A few months later, Smith-Tranquil'son was pushed to the ground and threatened by an unknown male on campus.

The incidents, Calley said, were an awakening for her son and the whole campus.

After Smith-Tranquil'son died Sept. 18, 1994, Calley wore black and grieved for months, then realized she "needed to do something to say he contributed to this world."

Soon afterward, she began putting away money, at first not really knowing what it would become. Ten years later, she launched the fund.

"We live on through our grandchildren, and Colin couldn't give me those," Calley said. "This is one way that Colin can live on."

Before budget cuts, Tubbs said, she could help strapped students by dipping into the center's funds. Usually, at least one student would come to her each year with the familiar coming-out punishment of having been cut off financially by parents.

"If Tranquil hadn't established this fund, I would've had to say, 'I have no money to give you,' " she said. "She could've done a scholarship based on leadership or something else, but the need was for students who needed emergency funding."

Hinrichs was one such student.

The sociology major, who graduates in May, had a part-time job at a science lab and borrowed as much as she could. But the $6,000 a year in school fees, up about 40% from last year, was too much for her to handle. She was $700 short at the start of last quarter, so that's how much she received from the fund, which stands at about $5,000 while Calley continues putting money into it.

She knew that asking her parents was not an option. She had told her parents at 17 that she was lesbian and that she wanted to transfer from California Baptist University to the secular UC Riverside.

"My parents just had this idea of what coming out — being queer — meant to them, and it really wasn't a representation of reality," she said. "It was like, automatically, I had an STD or AIDS because they affiliated those things with that 'lifestyle.' I think, suddenly, I changed in their eyes."

Since last quarter, Hinrichs moved back in with her parents after a reconciliation, but they have "a don't-ask, don't-tell policy" when it comes to her sexual orientation, she said.

"They love me, but they don't love what I stand for," Hinrichs said. "To come out and then try to do it all on your own, it's very hard for students to keep their heads above water. Students need to know that this help exists."