The Princeton Review's 2004 college guide ranks Caltech No. 1 in this category: "Students Never Stop Studying."

"It doesn't matter that we've got no women," grumbled one Tech male. "I'm never in bed anyway."

The inhabitants do find time for humor, though. The Princeton publication says the well-known male-female imbalance inspired one prank that had Caltekkies "sneaking a girl into a group of high school students and parents visiting Caltech, then 'kidnapping' the girl and yelling, 'We got one! We got one!' "

We'll drink to that: At the other extreme, the Princeton Review ranks UC Santa Barbara No. 20 in the nation on its list of party schools. And the 2004 Kaplan Guide says that if the 1978 movie "Animal House" were remade today, UCSB would be a worthy model. Don't feel insulted, Angelenos. USC and UCLA would also qualify, Kaplan says.

College honors (cont.): Some other lifestyle categories in the Princeton Review, based upon interviews with 106,000 students:

• Happiest Students — Pomona (ranked No. 2 in the nation).

• Least Happy — UC Riverside (No. 6).

• Dorms Like Palaces — Claremont McKenna (No. 7), Pomona (No. 14), Pepperdine (No. 16).

• Worst Libraries — Pepperdine (No. 18).

• Worst Food — Caltech (No. 17).

• Least Religious Students — Pomona (No. 16), Caltech (No. 19).

Maybe Caltech should pray for a new chef.